Single and Ready to Mingle

When it is over….

As I sit down to pen this blog, I have the sounds of Keyshia Cole’s “I Just want it” comes through my headphones. What happens when it is officially over and you are forced to move on? How do you get over it? This question is fully loaded and can lead you down so many lanes. I promise not to fill this with a bunch of bitter stuff; I want you to learn a little bit from me and my journey from time to time.

I recently had to accept the fact that he has moved on and he didn’t move on to me. I will tell you that revelation of this hit me like a ton of brinks; in my face (literally). When you have been everything to someone for someone for so long, the pain is there. You have done so much and tried to prove yourself worthy of them, but lost your self-worth at the same time. It is time….Time to let go of that fool ass stuff and move on. I know you are probably saying this is so much easier said than done. Want to know how I know, I said it myself. I questioned why was this happening, how did happen, and more. But my accepting it is what made me move on. Here are a few steps to take on the journey

1. Acceptance, you have to accept that this was not the plan for your life and this person is not the end all be all to it. With that acceptance, wean yourself off of that individual. If you are friends with each other on Facebook get rid of them. Now I know some of my readers are petty and will let that ass stay there and watch them work. But if you can’t stand the site of them, that ish will eat from the inside out and you will not be able to live your life. Sometimes letting it just is all that you need.

2. No you can’t be friends, well just not in this moment. Don’t be so quick to say let’s stay friends. You are going to have to dig into a deep place and pull up some grown shit after the mess they put you through. Give your heart some time to mend because it will again torture your soul to see them move on so quickly.

3. Don’t do this alone; gather your friends in them remind you about the good in you. Don’t sit home and get drunk alone. Go out and have those drinks with your friends. I am sure you have probably said “when will I laugh again” You will laugh with your friends. They will take the pain away. To be honest, this may even make you fight the urge to send one of those drunken text messages to your ex. If you feel the need to cry; DO IT! Cry it is ok, cry with your friends. Tell them how messed on the inside you are right now and they will pull your awesomeness out.

4. Find something else you can enjoy. For myself I found that I get the best ideas and have a sense of freedom when I am in the park with my headphones on and walking. (That is how you all got this blog today). Throw yourself into a hobby. If there was something that you loved doing before this fuck ass relationship, get back to it.

5. Don’t close off your heart. Don’t become bitter and close of your heart to the world. You are still a good person and you are worthy enough to be loved by the right person. I do want you to get over it and not make another person pay for the mistake of your ex. Do take it slow and don’t rush it. Let it happen organically.

These were just a few steps to follow. I just want to get back to happy. I want the same happy for you. Someone somewhere needed this. Always remember someone is always on the same journey as you, but they just maybe at a different part.

Smooches my loves….

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